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Saturday, November 20, 2010

Quotes and Fun

My life has been on and endless spiral of suck hell as of late so I thought I would look up some good quotes to see if they might inspire me to get out of this dilemma.

You be the judge:

Katherine Anne Porter
Our being is subject to all the chances of life. There are so many things we are capable of, that we could be or do. The possibilities are so great that we never, any of us, are more than one-fourth fulfilled.

Hmmm...written by a woman. I think she was actually complaining about why her husband couldn't afford Tiffany's crap for her because he coulda been working 4 jobs!!

Henry David Thoreau
Our truest life is when we are in our dreams awake.

This dude ate WAAAAAYYYYY to many mushrooms out in the woods writing "Walden".

Hans Margolius
One man all by himself is nothing. Two people who belong together make a world.

But ya never get just TWO people do ya? No you got her ex and her mother and her shithead sister and lord knows the kids that ate too much damn lead paint and shit and think it's ok to cram Barney in the fucking microwave!

Sophocles
One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life; That word is love.

There are two others that both start with "D"...death and divorce!! How does he know? He slept with little boys who thought he was a genius...get a woman that doesn't wanna hear how brilliant your ass is when she is handing you a load of laundry!

Malcolm S. Forbes
Presence is more than just being there.

Yeah no shit!! She was screaming my name the whole time he was there while I was at work!!!!

Holy crap I do any more of these and I am gonna stick a fish scaler through my temple.

Once again a look into the mind of YOUR friendly neighborhood comic.

Dave

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Random Thoughts 11-13-10

Sorry I have been neglecting ya'll, but school has been hell...still at the parents...keep getting sick...and tried to start a new job.

First thing...sports. My Denver Broncos are officially dead. At 2-6 I don't see anything that can help them...except for the other teams not to show up for the remaining 8 games. We are 32nd in rushing...which really sucks because there are only 32 teams. We are also 31st against the run...so we suck in the ground game on both sides.

They are calling for Josh McDaniels' head pretty bad around here. Fans also want him to go ahead and play Tim Tebow since the season is really over. I am one of those fans...it would be nice to see what he can do...because although Kyle Orton is passing pretty great, he just ain't a leader for the players to rally around.

My Michigan boys are bowl eligible with a record of 6-3...which will be 7-3 after we beat Purdue today and then 7-5 after we lose out next two to Wisconsin and Ohio State. So we go to the "Toilet Bowl"...wooo hoooooo!!!

I think I should say something about the Heisman race. Alot of folks have given it to Cam Newton from Auburn who is playing better than Michigan's Denard Robinson...BUT...an icy wind doth blow Reggie Bush style through the campus in Alabama. I guess his dad was selling his services to Mississippi State and others...which is illegal. Right now it's all just talk...but the FBI have hopped into this one so that makes me raise a major eyebrow. Plus he got kicked out of Florida for stealing laptops or tampons or something. Is he crooked? I don't know...but the allegations keep getting bigger and weightier with each day.

Ok let's talk some basketball and hockey! Nah let's not. Untill we get to March Madness I could care less about basketball...especially the pros. And hockey? When someone can explain what the fuck "icing the puck" is maybe I will take an interest.

So I guess i will let you in on what I am planning for school. In my TV Production class I have to pitch a 7-8 minute idea for my team to shoot...that is better than all of he other idiots pitches in my group. Some of my first posts on here dealt with bible study...and my take on the bible ( which I need to get back to ) and one of the greatest comics of all time, Sam Kinison, was a preacher and had interesting take on Jesus.

He said there was no way Jesus could have been married, because of the resurrection story. You can watch it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DSwG9Tojg9I

I thought that would make a great skit...so that is what I am pitching to the class. I of course will have to write the script and get all of the shot setups and all...but I think it will be fun. Hopefully they vote for it.

Gonna leave you on this note...Genghis Khan had a great quote about people like me:

Every man has a purpose in life, even if it's just to set a bad example.

That about sums me up...till next time...don't let the bastards keep ya down.

Dave